Lately I've felt a stupendous amount of pressure to make decisions. Do I date him? Do I date him? Do I work and miss the party? Do I miss the party to get a car? Everything is piling up and I just want to stop and ask aloud the question of, "Do I have to tell you right now?!" But the world doesn't stop for me, doesn't stop to sit and wait so I can ponder all these thoughts. I do have a time frame, maybe not precise one for all of these things, but there comes point when the boy needs some answers. 

Now I'm scared. "I guess I'll just have to ask you in person :)" I'm seeing him tomorrow. Not good. he better not ask tomorrow. I don't want to say no, but I can't say yes just yet. We just met and I barely know him. Another thing is that he's really nice. Luckily he's not innocent cause I've found that EXTREMELY difficult to deal with. I just hope it's not like the last relationship, a failed attempt at recreating something else in the past. I desire to have that again so badly that worry nothing will ever be good enough...but this is one of those moments where I just have to tell myself to step back and breathe...and move on. And for now that reassuring load of crap will have to do.