The Dead-End-Job Blues

Teens are taught to get the shittiest fast-food job, work precious hours of their childhood away for minimum wage, and never expect to enjoy a single minute of it. Why? Who knows. Apparently it builds character, like Purple Nurple's and Wet Willy's. For whatever reason parents may have to convince their children, it's completely and morally wrong for them to do so. Our lives are precious, our time as young people limited, and there is no reason that you as a parent cannot take care of me. While I do admit going to bbt.com and seeing my bank statement read $519.00 is nice, knowing that I'm working at Buddy's Barbeque all day labor day for $7.25 an hour doesn't seem all that worth it when I could be enjoying the off school with all of my friends. I just want to be a kid while I can.

Or, do something I want to do. There are plenty of things that would seem worth my time, but teens are assumedly unqualified (assuming makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me").

Some time has passed since I started this post and I have decided to stick it out, knowing that the money is not completely worth it but semi-necessary to maintain my quality of living (also I've decided that I'm going to France next summer, hollah!). While I will be working this entire Labor Day weekend, somehow I'll learn to cope.

Touching

This is the part I love most about
your newness.
The slightest touch gives me shivers.
Feeling your finger tips gently brushing my arm,
I can feel it in my toes.
Butterflies fly chaotically through my stomach,
but I don't mind.
Your touch is beautiful,
magical,
innocent.
It pleasures me in a way that nothing else can.
It enthralls me,
how can the slightest graze of my skin shock me so?
It leaves me almost breathless.
Such a wonderful feeling.

Lately I've felt a stupendous amount of pressure to make decisions. Do I date him? Do I date him? Do I work and miss the party? Do I miss the party to get a car? Everything is piling up and I just want to stop and ask aloud the question of, "Do I have to tell you right now?!" But the world doesn't stop for me, doesn't stop to sit and wait so I can ponder all these thoughts. I do have a time frame, maybe not precise one for all of these things, but there comes point when the boy needs some answers. 

Now I'm scared. "I guess I'll just have to ask you in person :)" I'm seeing him tomorrow. Not good. he better not ask tomorrow. I don't want to say no, but I can't say yes just yet. We just met and I barely know him. Another thing is that he's really nice. Luckily he's not innocent cause I've found that EXTREMELY difficult to deal with. I just hope it's not like the last relationship, a failed attempt at recreating something else in the past. I desire to have that again so badly that worry nothing will ever be good enough...but this is one of those moments where I just have to tell myself to step back and breathe...and move on. And for now that reassuring load of crap will have to do.